Fynn and I and Resilience…

Ok. So Fynn and I have disappeared off the radar for a while. In so far as our blog is concerned anyway – we are so sorry!

Fynn has not slept through or woken up less than 3 times a night – since, well since he was born:) which, with him turning 9 months old on the 7th of July – means that Mom (me:)) and Dad (Graham) are very much in survival mode. To give you an idea of the current state of affairs – please find attached a pic of what I understand my husband believes me to look like in the morning…

… ai yai yai…. Not good, I know! Even Fynn is shocked – see attached pic of Fynn looking appropriately horrified!:)

Sustainability is, however, very much on the radar. Just not in the same way that I intended when I first started writing this blog.

Yes – we are still trying to keep up with all the basics – monitoring and being careful about the electricity and water we use (most of the time); trying to make educated decisions about the food and toiletries we buy, and where they come from (this continues to make shopping very difficult and time-consuming – have to go to a whole range of shops to get what I need (Woolies, Dischem, green grocer, butcher) and am comfortable with us all eating. This does mean more driving, diesel and time – not so sustainable. But that I do feel (a little bit more) comfortable with what we eat. Note to self: must look into grocery shopping online and the sustainability of this – I know that Alex raised this question some time back); recycling our waste (as much of it as we can) etc, etc…(Please do send me any good ideas that you are currently implementing at home so that we can give these a try too!)

But – what I have really been focused on, what has really got me excited, interested and the blood pumping is this dawning, this realisation that hit me straight in the face a couple of weeks back!

It is good to focus on the small things that we can do in our home, and we must continue to do this and try to do better at it. BUT what is gold, invaluable, life-changing – is the understanding that we, each of us in this world (us in our home; our colleagues, family and friends; the people who work for us; the people we work for; the people who live down the road in Alex; the vendors on the side of the street and the swanky businesses in Sandton) – all live in the same world, and that we are all interconnected and interdependent on each other. And this is just a small microcosm of life in Joburg!

What gobble-dee-gook am I speaking? I’m not entirely sure but I think it is this…

The world is changing. For Fynn to be happy and to thrive – Graham and I must do our best to give him the skills to be resilient, we ourselves must learn to be resilient (not easy when you’re a bit older and a bit stuck in your ways:)) – and the world in which we live must be resilient. What is resilience? The ability to adapt to changing conditions and continue to do well in it.

How can we do this? Again, I’m not at all sure. I’m right at the beginning of this journey. What I do know is that resilience starts with a few things:

-) acceptance of the fact that the world is changing,

-) making it your business to be aware of what is happening in the world around you;

-) understanding that we and all people, businesses, organisations, organisms and animals live within the same system. That we are all inter-related, and we all need to have our interests protected, if we we are all going to thrive; and

-) sharing this knowledge with our children in the way we bring them up – so that hopefully they too will live their lives, interact with people, make decisions, operate businesses, use our natural resources etc with this understanding in mind.

If the world in which Fynn is to grow up is to be a good one, I must recognise that Fynn’s happiness and wellbeing is ultimately (beyond the walls of our home, and the best possible opportunities that Graham and I will try to make available to him) connected to the state of our country, our government and our economy (and that of the global economy); the living-conditions of our fellow citizens; the actions of our corporate citizens and the state of our natural resources.

That’s it. My piece for the day said. I hope that this makes some kind of sense and resonates in some way with you.

Wishing you all a fantastic week ahead!

 

 

The evolution to solids…

No, don’t worry. You are not on a blog discussing geology or the formation of the earth (my brain is still way too fuzzy for that:))! Rather, this is all about the time when you start thinking about feeding your baby something other than milk.

Ok. So we haven’t gone into the whole debate about breastfeeding v formula feeding, and in particular, which is more sustainable re impacts on the environment, the society in which we live (think of the people who work at the formula-manufacturer, or sell it at their store), for the health of your child or indeed your own (health) or the health of your bank balance:)! …This is mostly because I am a tad (read slightly more than a tad) prudish and just don’t feel comfortable discussing something to do with breasts on a public forum:)!

So moving right along…! Fynn is now almost 6 months old, and has for the last two months or so been on an anti-reflux formula. I have to admit that I did not look at all into the sustainability credentials of the said formula product – I went with exactly what was recommended by the paed (which recommendation was also endorsed by Fynn’s nurse and other moms), but do recycle the formula containers.

At almost 6 months, Fynn is now moving to the second phase of the formula (same brand as before – and the one still recommended by the doctor) but, for the last 2 months we have been experimenting with the introduction of solids, and just yesterday we started with the introduction of protein! Well now, this is a whole different ball game!

I have always been what I consider to be (mostly) a healthy eater. I love salads and grilled chicken and fish but absolutely do have a tendency to give in to a slice of good baked cheese cake when I see one! The point is this, although my food choices have been (mostly) healthy – they have been made (1) because it’s the kind of food I was brought up to eat, (2) it’s the kind of food my husband also likes to eat so it’s easier when I do the shopping, and (3) because it’s the kind of food that keeps you slimmer and trimmer:). In other words, I have not made the choices I have made to be healthy per se. Healthiness has just been a good by-product of the whole decision process.

Having a baby however changes your whole approach to food! The concerns are plentiful and range from how the food might taste, whether it’s age appropriate, what the texture of the food is and much more importantly – the nutrients it provides, the source of the food and the supply chain that it has been through.

No longer is it enough to know that something contains very little carbs or the right kind of fat – I want to know where this food was grown/manufactured, how it was grown/manufactured, where has it been since then, and what does it and the packaging it is contained within contain (are there any horrible preservatives, salt, sugar etc in there? are there the right kind of nutrients that Fynn needs to grow and develop healthily?). Ladies and gents (if there are any reading this post:)) this, together with the approach that I have decided to take to try be a more active, aware, engaged and responsible consumer – makes the whole process of the weekly grocery shop incredibly trying!

Here are some of the things that I have learnt along the way which you may find useful and on which I would love your feedback/comments:

-) always check the packaging and the ingredients. If it’s not locally produced, try not to buy it. If you can get the same thing with less or no packaging – try go for that. I do always try to buy organic but find that there is very little variety available in the big retailers, and the fruit and veg shops that I have been to often just don’t know whether the produce they stock is organically farmed or not. If you do decide to try your local fruit and veg, try to find out what days they get there new stock. Often their fruit and veggies have more flavour but don’t contain ‘sell by’ or ‘use by’ dates;

-) if it’s dairy that I’m buying – milk, cheese or yoghurt – I always go for organic and hormone free. These are normally quite easy to find in all of the big retailers (other than full cream yoghurt – not widely stocked! And, as a whole, the low-fat varieties don’t have all the nutrients that babies need, and contain way too much sugar)

-) now that we have started Fynn on protein, and since I have been on this whole mission to try and run our home more sustainably, I only buy free-range chicken and eggs (I find it very difficult (read ‘as yet impossible’ to find organic) and fish that is marked as having been sustainably sourced (although I haven’t looked into the credentials of the labels). We are also on the Tim Noakes banting diet (Graham and I, not Fynn) – a whole other story that I won’t go into right now, but on the assumption that we eat carbs (biscuits, cakes etc) – I try to look for ones that are made with free-range eggs. Warning: if you ask your waitress at Tasha’s whether the macaroons are made from free range eggs or not, she will think that you have lost the plot!

-) I am not big at all on red meat (the eating of which is contentious in so far as the effect that producing red meat has on our environment) but do look for red meat for Graham, and will soon be doing so for Fynn. He needs to taste as much as possible and I want him to have a balanced diet! So far I have not been able to find meat that is marked as free-range or organic – the best that I can get is meat that Woolies says they source from farmers that they know and trust

-) we have decided to go the route of making Fynn’s food from scratch. Of course you don’t have to do this, you may just not have the time or (like me) not particularly enjoy cooking. What I do like is that if you have some good quality recipes (re nutrient levels) that are also tasty – you can make a whole batch at a time and have enough for the week. Look for BPA-free containers in which to store the food (you can freeze and defrost as necessary)

-) I was about to start a hunt for a sustainably produced feeding chair that I will have one day been able to recycle or pass on for use, when we were lucky enough to be given a ‘hand-me-down’. In great condition and now not sitting in a rubbish dump! The online sites generally have loads of second hand chairs for sale, or if you would prefer to buy new, do try to find out more about where the product is produced, how it is transported, what it is made from, and your options as to what you can do with the chair when you no longer need it. In South Africa of course I don’t think there will ever be a shortage of children’s homes or children born into less fortunate financial circumstances having a need for our second-hand chairs!

-) the same goes for the plastic feeding jackets which I find are a must-have for Fynn – especially with him wanting to experiment with and touch his food. We were also lucky enough to be given a hand-me-down in fantastic condition!

All of this research and inquiry takes a lot of time and preparation! and sometimes requires you shopping at more than one store (which in and of itself may not be the most sustainable thing to do and now you are using more petrol/diesel to do your shopping). In any event, this is a journey that I am now on and so would be very happy to get your feedback and suggestions, and try to answer any questions that you may have.

Best wishes!
A

 

 

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, this concept of responsibility.

There is something about deciding to bring a child into this world that just turned my head – it took me a long time to think that I may (I was never 100% certain:)) be responsible enough and capable (let’s hope) of being a very good mom and looking after and raising a happy, healthy, well-adjusted little person! (Don’t you sometimes also feel like you are an 18 year old trapped in a 30-something year old body?!)

And so – nature gives you (hopefully) around 40 weeks to get used to the idea of being a Mom – and with it all of the responsibility that motherhood brings. But, in my experience, no reflecting, preparing, reading, seminar-attending (I’m an A-type personality so I like to try and contain and control scary things – like becoming a Mom – by preparing for them) prepared me for what was to come. Even then, when beautiful Fynn arrived and Graham and I had this tiny little person to care for – I still didn’t get it.

For me this idea of responsibility and what it truly means has been a gradual dawning. Something that I’m sure will still become clearer – coloured by my love for Fynn and my getting to know him a little better each day.

Looking after Fynn is an awesome responsibility, but it is also an incredible privilege. As a 3 month and a bit baby – he is completely reliant on me to try to understand and deal with his needs. Can you imagine putting yourself in that position now? Not being able to talk or do things for yourself and being completely reliant on someone else to care for you and try to understand your needs? The mere thought terrifies me! We, as parents, as caregivers, are in a position of awesome power.

But this power extends way beyond the responsibility of meeting Fynn’s physical and emotional needs. It’s about realising that my actions and decisions have a direct bearing on the world in which Fynn will grow and live.

A week ago or so, Graham and I watched a movie called “Elysium” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elysium_(film)). Of the science fiction genre, I can’t say it is the kind of movie we would normally watch, let alone enjoy. We loved it! And were terrified by it! I won’t go into too much detail (though I will say you should really watch it – it is brilliant! And this has nothing to do with the fact that the director is South African:)) but the story takes place against the backdrop of a devastated earth and a spaceship (called Elysium) to which all the wealthy have retreated to maintain their quality of life. It is a story about inequality, polarisation and destruction. About the kind of world that none of us would like to see. Seeing a ‘ruined earth’ so graphically depicted in this movie reminded me of how much I have now, how much I take for granted, how much I can do as an ordinary person, and how much I must do as a Mom, to do right by Fynn, so that he can live in the kind of world I wish for him. 

City farming – educating & providing access to healthy food…

We are in Cape Town on holiday and visited the Oranjezicht City Farm today. I’ve never seen anything like it! The farm educates everyone who is interested (including families and children) about where there food comes from and how to grow it. It also provides people with access to healthy, organically grown veggies. And! In a country like SA where communities are divided by high walls and electric fences – it builds a sense of community! Looks like a fantastic project!

Apologies and happy 2014!

2014 is already on our doorstep, weeks have gone by since my last post and – just to highlight how challenging it is to do right by the planet and its people while doing right by my Fynn (aka ‘Boebs’) – I must make a confession. And its an embarrassing one! With all the good will in the world, although I have thought everyday of my blog and the fact that I need to get cracking on the challenge I have set for myself, I have not yet started exploring the challenge, or done anything to change my  the behaviour! I have been so consumed with a baby struggling with reflux (read – not so happy child and very little sleep) that looking into the sustainability of the amount of cottonwool that I use, or what happens to the nappies that I put into the dustbin has fallen to the bottom of the list!

My apologies fellow bloggers! I know I need to up my game – please watch this space! Fynn is now on medicine for his reflux and I’m hoping this will give me some more time to ask some very real and pertinent questions of myself, and the routine and habits Fynn and I have so easily fallen into!

Wishing you all a very blessed and very happy 2014!

Aimee

In the beginning…there was a blank page and a clueless Mom.

So here it is… a blank page, a ‘never-done-it-before’ blogger and a very new Mom – frightening stuff!! For you or for me? Well – for both of us!!!

My name is Aimee. And I recently became a Mom to a gorgeous, magical little boy – Fynn William. Fynn is 9 weeks and 4 days old today. This means that I have been his Mom for 9 weeks and 4 days. A fledgling mom at best:) Fynn and I live in Jozi, SA with the husband and dad (Graham) and our two hairy muppets (Buddy and Gabs).

So. What’s this blog about and how does it differ from all of the 1000s out there in the blogosphere? Let’s all agree that there is no shortage of mommy blogs out there people!!

Well, this is my story of being a new Mom (a VERY scary title (queue horror movie background music… OK – maybe that’s a slight exaggeration:)) as any mom, dad or adult yet or maybe even never to be mom or dad will surely agree) and grappling with being the best Mom I can be (while still learning to be a Mom in the first place!)! Hmmmm – isn’t that the topic of most mommy blogs?….

Well, earlier on today I was admiring the work of my clever Fynn who managed to fill his nappy (which every mom will tell you no-one else’s child  has ever before managed to successfully do before:)) and worrying for the umpteenth time about that same nappy lying on a landfill for generations to come. And, being a sustainability and energy consultant ie. someone who does profess to care about the sustainability of our world and our behaviour – I have not yet got my head around what these things which I do care about means for the day-to-day practicalities and happenings of being a mom. This, when your absolute focus is always giving your child the very best you can in sometimes very trying circumstances (who wants to worry about the biodegradability of a nappy rash cream at 3am in the morning, or about washing eco-friendly nappies when you’ve had to change at least 4 in the space of 10 minutes!!!?)

So – this is it. My story of trying to understand the impacts of my behaviour as a Mom on the place in which Fynn is to live his long and happy life. And from which – as a friend of mine wrote, there is no readily available exit should things go horribly wrong.  It is the story of the ups and downs of a completely besotted Mom who is also sleep deprived and slightly paranoid about Fynn and him having only the best I can give! It is the story of how a mom reconciles these concerns with her work as a sustainability and energy consultant, and a masters student in Sustainability Leadership at Cambridge. And it is a story of being such a mom in a developing country while being privileged enough to call herself middle class.

I think this story is going to be interesting!… And I hope it’s one that will resonate with you. Comments and tips are welcome!!!

Yours in being a mom,

Aimee